Soirée’s Guide to: Should We Invite Kids or Specify No Children?

Kids or No Kids?

Planning a wedding involves making many decisions, big and small. One question that often arises is whether to invite children to the celebration. While there are valid arguments on both sides, the decision should ultimately reflect your values, priorities, and the overall atmosphere you envision for your special day.

Remember, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer to whether children should be invited to a wedding. What matters most is that your decision aligns with your values as a couple and contributes to creating a memorable and meaningful celebration for everyone involved.

Here are some considerations and tips to help navigate whether to include children at your wedding.

Define Your Vision

Begin by discussing with your partner the atmosphere you want to create at your wedding. Are you aiming for a formal, adults-only affair, or do you envision a more relaxed, family-friendly event? Understanding your vision will guide your decision-making process.

Consider Your Guests

Take into account the demographics of your guest list. If many of your friends and family have young children, consider offering childcare options or activities to keep kids entertained during the event.

Communicate Clearly

Whatever your decision, clear communication is critical. Include information about children on your invitations or wedding website. For example, you could mention, “We kindly request an adult-only celebration” or “Children are welcome to join in the festivities.”

Be Respectful

Understand that some guests may be unable to attend if they can’t bring their children. Be empathetic and respectful of their circumstances while staying firm in your decision if an adults-only event is what you desire.

Offer Alternatives

If you choose not to invite children, consider hosting a separate family-friendly gathering either before or after the wedding. This allows parents to celebrate with you while ensuring a child-free atmosphere during the main event.

Address Concerns Early

If you anticipate any pushback or concerns from guests regarding your decision, address them early on. Have open and honest conversations, explaining your reasons and emphasizing that you value their presence at your wedding.

Provide Guidance

For guests traveling from out of town, offer recommendations for childcare services or local activities that families can enjoy while in the area. This shows thoughtfulness and helps alleviate any stress for parents attending your wedding.

Explaining Why

Here are some reasons why you might choose not to have children attend your wedding, along with phrases you can use to communicate this to your guests. These phrases can be incorporated into invitations, wedding websites, text messages, or spoken directly to guests to explain why their children are not invited to the wedding.

Atmosphere: You may want to maintain an atmosphere of elegance, formality, or tranquility that is not conducive to children’s presence.

  • “We are aiming for an elegant and formal ambiance at our wedding.”
  • “To ensure a serene and peaceful celebration, we have decided to host an adults-only event.”

Budget: Hosting children can significantly increase costs for meals, seating, entertainment, and accommodations, which may not align with the amount of money you want to invest in your wedding spend.

  • “To manage our budget effectively, we have chosen to host an adults-only celebration.”
  • “We want to provide the best experience for our guests within our budget constraints.”

Logistics: Venue restrictions, limited space, or logistical challenges may make it impractical to accommodate children.

  • “Due to venue restrictions and space limitations, we kindly request an adults-only celebration.”
  • “We have considered logistical factors and determined that hosting a child-free event is the best option for our wedding.”

Guest Experience: You may prioritize the comfort and enjoyment of all guests, including those who prefer a child-free environment.

  • “We love your children but we are giving all parents an opportunity for a night off.”
  • “We want all our guests to have a relaxing and enjoyable time without disruptions.”
  • “To ensure a seamless and enjoyable experience for everyone, we have opted for an adults-only celebration.”

Personal Preference: Ultimately, it’s a personal choice that reflects your preferences and vision for your wedding day.

  • “As it’s a personal preference, we have decided to host an adults-only event.”
  • “We appreciate your understanding as we prioritize our vision for our special day.”

Here are examples of invitation suites with detail cards that specify no or limited children.

  • Please make it a date night! We love your kids, but our wedding is adults only.
  • Date Night: Although we love your kids, this event is adults only.
  • While we love little ones, we are only able to accommodate the children of our wedding party.
  • Adults Only: Respectfully, an adults only occasion. We love your kids, but we thought you’d like a date night!

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